Light and dark like day n’ night
Not like good and bad
I talked with a friend today telling her about a title that has been looping in my head because of things I have experienced- she smiled and made a face of ‘oh boy that would be interesting’.
My first experience of awakening, years ago, was so mind bending that in fear of going back to it and not touching base with it ever again- I started learning from other people and things. I was in trouble; I knew nothing and I was hugging everything- just terrible. Give me something else. But who I am creeps on me and overrides my supposedly learnings.
My life is not complicated. The only complication I have is my inner worlds. The maze called individual human on planet earth. I mean, as a whole we can’t even agree on the name of our planet- so why should I not have just a bit of that complication?
Well, small snapshot: Earth, Sophia, Gaia. Me, I have no clue. I read, and I can tell you what was in the book- thaz it. Of course, I see it.
I know that in Hebrew Sophia means end – the opposite of eternal light. Gaia means valley. But again, to me these are just inventions. Words. I am standing on soil. It is land. It has depth. It is talking. It is moving. It is dancing. I’m here.
And there is human that has been influenced by so many different pioneers and way showers that have been situated at the right time in the right place giving knowledge. No consistancy. Whatever.
And I?
See, be quiet, move to the side, make a half circle, continue straight to where I aimed to stay: inside. So many times, I said to myself that it is a question of how deep your love is. Is it? What a mumble jumble.
I am in love with every person I meet. And when I tell you I am in trouble, I mean it. I say love but it is much more than that. Consciousness goes through and beyond it. Also below, and to the sides.
Maybe it is a learning process for me. I am not sure it is healthy to be in love with everything that moves. I don’t want to be that idiot- been there done that, I need to move into my head- isn’t it the next level?
There are no levels.
Few days ago, I walked into Welch spring in Current River. It’s just a mile in and out into the spring and I go there in the winter quite often- but this is my first time going in the summer. When I had to dodge a black widow creating a net in the middle of the path, I understood why summer is not the best time. And as Current river is full of travelers that come to enjoy kayaking and other water activities- there was nobody on this path.
I decided to go there because I encountered something that got stuck in my aura and managed to penetrate into my physical body. I saw it like watching a movie- a film in front of me- double vision. I am not going to describe it- it was nothing like Neo foreign object installed through his stomach. It managed to get in because I was tired, and I thought I am going to meet people, chill-and instead…well.
The path has a magical deep forest feel to it, and in some places, it gets dark because the sun barely penetrates. The small animals, the birds and the insects buzz made me feel as if I stepped into a fairy tale scene. Everything caught my attention. I zoomed in and out of the smallest worlds like moss on a dark stone, intertwined vines, blue jays and cardinals, and roots.
My dogs went along with my slightest gestures. Besides once or twice pulling on their leash to stop them from running after small animals- those two were super tuned to my flow.
In those kinds of places there is a certain interconnection that sweeps all the energy together and disburses it at the same time. Communication on all levels. No attention necessary, no restrains, no thoughts, no control. Just deep fall into it. Complete trust.
Hey mom, I can sink into you, and I feel safe and cradled.
This is beyond love. It is simply home.
I realized that I take on the spirit of the place. Well, it is what happened to me the other day when I thought it is going to be a chill. I was tired, I wasn’t composed, I was open to the mind tricks of myself and others. It’s weird to be attacked and see it happening like a motion picture on the vibrational reality with no way of responding.
It hurt my left eye and my left ear. I sat with it for a while to find the why and the what. There is always two to tango, there is no play of any energy without the law of attraction. So, it was first my fault for sure. I saw something and I lost my neutral observation.
I have eyes like a hawk, and I need to change my perception to eyes like an eagle. Concentrate on what I want and let everything else fade as a part of my breath. It is hard when I am splattered all over the place- collecting thoughts from the air and processing them as if they are my own. I guess there is something in “separate and rule”- take it to the bank.
Being in nature cleared me. And at night when I went to bed, I felt every molecule of my body evaporates into space as I fell asleep. It was after I talked with the invader, explained myself and thanked it for the lesson it taught me. And just like that it was gone.
The title I had in mind is “how god turned to be the devil, and back again- by Beamer Baggins” it is a story of confusion, a story of tightening up, a story of thought invented and its realization of power that twists the dial of being on the strings of emotions.
But that is for another time.
Two more pictures I took that day-
