The wisdom in pain
Moving away from unnecessary lessons
Last month, a dear friend was badly injured in a motorcycle accident. Everybody sent help and energy towards his healing. When I heard about it, my heart missed a beat and I set in meditation for him. To connect, to send healing towards him. I let myself feel everything about it.
Feeling his pain took me back to my own accident. There was a time that my face was not fractured, and I didn’t have a hundred stitches that crossed my eyebrow to make a permanent lightning stamp on my forehead. I was strong, loved my face, and loved to do ‘crazy’ movements. Then the accident happened, everything crashed, and the healing was longer than anticipated.
I was in physical pain for about 10 years. From 2003 to 2013 I was in pain. A few years into it, every time I felt relief and thought I was doing ok- any wrong physical action showed me differently. I couldn’t lift anything, I couldn’t walk for too long, I couldn’t have a handbag on my shoulders for more than a few minutes. My body was burning from the spinal cord damage long after my broken vertebras in my back and neck healed. This accident stuck a ranch in my wheels and changed my course for a long time. And when my Buddhist master friend told me that I am learning patience this lifetime I didn’t take it well because what’s there to understand in a broken body?
As we were all sending our wishes and money to our dear friend that broke his body in many major places and had some serious open wounds on top of it- there was one person that wrote, “use the pain wisely, teacher meet teacher, we love you”.
As I looked at it, I could feel the whole group (core of 40 people) negating this comment. Nobody said anything because it felt like a hoop to jump across and ignore. I could see the eyebrows lifting and the faces twisting though, “who do you think you are?”, “time and place for everything”, “take your high syndrome somewhere else”, “don’t talk in my name”.
Use the pain wisely.
I looked at this sentence and smiled. I know the person that wrote it somewhat well, we spent time together in gatherings. I understood where she was coming from. There are no accidents, and the hand that is delt has a direct correlation to something you ‘need’ to go through. But she wasn’t talking from herself- she was channeling her inner/higher stuff. It sounded disconnected because it was disconnected from the reality this man is going through.
Sure, I can use the pain wisely for few minutes when I meditate. But when I am a father of two kids, whom provides to his family, and everything is crushing on your head as you spend a month in the hospital- yes, you can sit and meditate for few minutes to dispel the pain- you can go in and feel that pain and use it wisely- but for the rest of the time, you are going to be in pain- and pain is, well, painful. It is going to be a long recovery.
And if we can take something like pain and reframe it to make it sound different than what it is just because of wanting to connect to something untouchable - and so, approve it in others’ lives- we are lost.
You can sit in a month meditation with your awareness connected to your core, and maybe you would be able to heal yourself from that injury. Maybe. But why spend so much time in meditation when we came to experience a different awareness?
By the way, I didn’t heal on my own. In 2013, I went to Ayahuasca ceremony for the first time. The beings on the higher vibratory existence performed healing on my neck. I saw a beam of light that turned to an orb of red light on my neck- it took a few minutes, and the pain was reduced to ashes. And after that I found a master chiropractor that helped me completely heal. I was very grateful to be released from that prison.
And eventually, not completely, I understood my own accident. Not completely because I don’t understand inflicting pain- and I understood that I wasn’t aware enough, awake enough to avoid being there. My brain wasn’t fast enough to see the danger. Maybe. I could also see the pattern of family karma that I participated in, and it is a complicated thing by itself. There is also the thought that If I made that choice and I wasn’t aware of it, it is as if I didn’t make that choice at all- this is ego/personality-based thought- it is a big subject.
I don’t believe we inflict on ourselves pain in this life. Who would do that? Are we that psychopathic- are we so disconnected and euphoric when we make choices outside of this realm? Of course not. It is exactly the opposite.
-hey buddy, you and I are going to jump into earth for a split moment life, what say you?
-heck yea, are we going to be brothers?
-yea, and by the way we are going to perform a detour, nothing special, a small accident…, what say you?
-yea, yea, let’s do it! Let’s break some bones see what happens…
- with insurance or without?
-na, we don’t need insurance, it will be fine…
- ready?
-yea, yea
-we will meet in first grad, ok? Hold my hand and one two three- jump!
No. I don’t believe we are the Simpsons, although they are funny.
There are low options and high options. Or bad options and batter options. In life and in words.
I have to say that I was impressed with the support that my friend received, it made me realize the treasure in this group. I should share more, open, and trust more. The Go Fund Me exceeded the original amount that was asked in just 2 days, and it came from friends only. It was a community effort to cover him, not only with hugs and real love- but with grounded support of means to get through it.